Emotional Math

It's perhaps not surprising that I'm having a hard time making myself go out--to, say, exercise myself or the car or pick up some Ramen Tatsu-ya take-out ramen, even though I've been craving it. Contagions, pandemics--out of control deadly illness has been one of my bugbears, so disturbing to me I avoided all movies and books about it. I trace this directly back to when I was about seven and my parents, in the midst of their divorce proceedings, took me with them to see The Andromeda Strain. We went for pie afterwards. Well-meaning people, my parents, but some question as to their parental suitability might have been at issue. They're both gone now, and I can only wish for the memory of each to be a blessing.

Anyway. I had my first anxiety dream about going out, to a cafe, forgetting my mask and having a young white couple sit too near me, also sans masks. The upside of this is that I'm sleeping and dreaming, which equals processing, so yay, brain, doing the emotional math!

Downside, I think I'm developing agoraphobia.